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Just an interim cog…
You know that saying - “just a cog in the wheel”?
Just one in a sea of faces.
If my identity is firmly rooted in Christ then I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help feeling meaningless. I’m just another college student. Another job application. Another unpaid Intern. Another friend. Lover. Girl. Another leader. dreamer. Wonderer.
So what makes me unique? Where do I fit. Not just fit. Where do I belong?
I want to feel that I am wanted. Loved. Pursued. That I matter. I want to rest in the fact the if I disappeared someone would notice and stop at nothing to find me. To rescue me from these questions, to save me from normalcy.
I want to stand out and to be loved for exactly who I am. Not just because I am another cog that allows the wheel to role. I want to be someone who makes the wheel brighter. Bolder. Better.
I want to encourage and to make change. To live and to love well.
“What if only my one heart was all you gained from all it cost, well I know you’d still be left with a reason to willingly offer your life. I am not just a man vastly lost in this world. Lost in a sea of faces. Your body is the bread and your blood is the wine, because you traded your life for mine. Just one in a million faces.” - Kutless
Just woke up in the morning and to be well quite honest with you, I didn’t sleep well. Half the population just waiting to see me fail - that’s when you press on…But I do it for the kids life threw the towel in on. Give ‘em hell. Turn their heads. Then they’ll say of me, there goes the fighter.
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